and the sun has charred the other side of the world and come back to us, painting the smoke over our heads an imperial violet

Note: this post is very long and maybe also a little boring. Which is about right, considering the day I've had.

5.00
See, here's what happened last night. The San Diego (SAN) - Newark (EWR) flight had between 9 and 12 empty seats, and I was about 7th on the list to get one. Weather in Newark was keeping our crew from getting to us, so another crew was brought in, one of whose members was due to arrive about half an hour after our scheduled departure. Meaning the flight was delayed. No big deal.

Meanwhile, the SAN - Cleveland (CLE) flight one gate down was oversold, and about 11 poor souls who couldn't get to Cleveland (how terrible!) were given the empty seats on the EWR flight (which will surely prove to be the best thing that ever happened to them). Which meant no seats for standbys to EWR. The irony here was that if our crew had been on time, we would have left before any CLE passengers could have their lives so fortunately altered.

Now it's 5am and I'm on the bus back to the airport hoping for a Christmas miracle. There's a 6.15 to Houston (IAH) that's overbooked but usually has a high no-show rate. There are also some people above me on the list whose acquaintance I made last night and whom I may spend the day with. I've got eight chances to get to IAH and four to get to EWR. None of them look good. It's possible I'll spend the weekend here in the San Diego airport. Here's hoping I'll get out before the end of the business day. Here's hoping.

6.15
No luck behind door number one. The standby list has been rolled over to the 7.00 flight which at this moment is overbooked by 6 and has 24 people on standby.

9.00
Denied twice more. Technically I'm not supposed to be checked in for Houston and Newark flights simultaneously, but I'm trying to head East any way I can. Thankfully I've got pocket Internet and can change bookings or check boarding totals without paying for a wireless connection from the poorly-named Boingo service. Nor do I want to use one of several peer-to-peer signals that are usually available. Are there really that many miscreants hanging out at airports preying on the technically naïve?

Consumed so far: too-sweet Starbucks lemon poppy seed muffin, banana, medium coffee.

15.10
Nine chances, nine zeroes. Before me is the brightest ray of hope, a 15.45 flight to EWR and I'm third on the list (as opposed to, oh, twelfth or so on all the IAH flights). I haven't looked at the boarding totals since last night when there were a couple of seats open, but what's the point, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere else, and those lists fluctuate a lot on days like today anyway. Also, the reason the list is so short is that Hilton-party-of-five didn't show for the last EWR departure, so five other standbys were able to make it, moving me up the list. But I think the Hiltons are here now, looking for seats, so it's up in the air. If you'll pardon the expression.

Beyond this ray of light are three more oversold flights (including one to Cleveland because I'll try anything at this point) and then the dark hole of a night at the airport. Once again, here's hoping.

Consumed: a Naked in Paradise smoothie from the disappointing Naked Juice store, an overly dry chicken pesto sandwich, a Coke and its refill.

15.38
The gate agent just announced that the flight is checked-in full. But then, it was that way when the Hiltons were no-shows.

15.57
Well, that didn't go quite the way I wanted it to. Even after the jetway door closes, I hang on until I sew the jetway pull away from the big Tylenol (I wish Continental planes were red and white so that joke would make sense).

Earlier today, a woman and her three small children, after not getting on four or five flights, rented a car and headed north to try their chances at LAX. Now a flight attendant and her boyfriend? gay brother? (hard to tell in California, ooooh) are doing the same thing. Wish I had that luxury, but then I'd probably also have the luxury of buying a JetBlue ticket to JFK. I fly this way because it's cheap, not because it's exciting to be stranded.

Good news, at least, about the whole Coke refill thing: as long as I've got this cup, I can keep going back to the soda fountains where'er they may be on the concourse since everyone uses the same cups. I assume there's water coming out of those things as well.

18.03
The flight that screwed me last night holds the best possibility of getting me out of California tonight. Cleveland red-eye. That's the last Continental plane of the day, and then my chances are crap tomorrow until 16.41 when they become pretty fair.

I've just been for a walk and discovered that at least I've been fortunate enough to have been stranded in the nice half of Terminal 2 as opposed to the cramped, stuffy half. Where we've got nice tile floors and lofty, airy spaces, they've got dingy carpet and thick crowds. It smells over there and there aren't nearly as many rocking chairs. Rockers, though, are of course no good for sleeping (as if waiting lounge chairs were good for sleeping), and it's time for a nap, so off I go.

20.53
Six times an hour, there's a security announcement, the usual bit about keep your luggage with you at all times. It's a man's voice, and he repeats himself, and then the announcement continues in a woman's voice, saying the all same things, and she repeats herself even more. I don't understand the logic behind that at all. And she especially likes to say, cheerfully emphatic, that "Security Is Everyone's Responsibility," which just makes me shudder. It's not that I don't agree with her in principle - in fact I think that the "Everyone" she's talking about is probably a much more robust and reliable security apparatus than all that crap we have to go through to get to the gate - but the way she says it strikes me as particularly Orwellian, a step away from being emblazoned all over the walls in huge block letters.

But what really gets me about those announcements is this: "If a stranger approaches you about carrying a foreign object, contact an airline representative or the airport police immediately." Now, first of all, how am I supposed to tell if an object is foreign? Sure, I could look for something like a "Heche en Mexico" label, but I'd conjecture that the majority of the things I already have with me were made overseas, and I wouldn't consider them foreign, necessarily. I guess I'd say they've been naturalized. But if a stranger is approaching me with an item or an article or something of that nature, I don't know that thing's history well enough to know if it's foreign or if it belongs here now. Right? And secondly (and seriously), come on, is that announcement still necessary? Isn't that just about keeping people from trying to get other people to run their drugs for them, and would anybody really try that now in the Orange Level Age? Sure, there are lots of stupid people around. Yes. But with the "Everyone" principle at work here again, I just don't think it's really an issue anymore.

I'm pretty confident now that I'll be in New York by Sunday morning at the latest. Then it's a matter of getting to Asheville. But that's then and this is now.

Consumed: Hawaiian pizza, another Coke refill, some water, a multivitamin.

No nap, couldn't sleep.

23.20
Bit the bullet: ghetto-ass Days Inn. Kind of not as nice as the Westin.

The EWR flight was delayed, meaning it was boarding as the same time as the CLE flight, meaning I kept going back and forth between gates to see if they were getting to standbys. Missed the EWR flight by three spots (and the two in front of me got onto the plane, only to discover a mistake in the boarding count and not get seats). Missed the CLE by one.

Oh boy, tired. What happens tomorrow? Oh yeah, another day. No possibilities for me until 16.41, though, and at least here at Crap Inn I can sleep a little.

Thanks to Dug for the socks.

Gnight.