rest easy, words mean nothing anymore

File this under "Oh, this is good." John Ashcroft has resigned, and for good reason. Apparently, "the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." Woo-hoo! Didja hear that?! No more crime and no more terror in the U.S.A.!! All together now: U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!!

Actually, he's partly right: now that he's out of office, there's one evildoer we don't have to worry about anymore...