And the award for most spirited goes to...

I've been watching the convention. Have you been watching the convention? I seen it on the television set in my living room. And I've noticed that every time a new speaker takes the stage, every single person in the arena (yes, every single person, I counted) holds up a new matching sign. Sometimes there's more than one sign per speech! I have a slight complaint about this: if everyone has the same sign, and all signs are held up at the same time (as if - gasp - on cue!), and some signs are even emblazoned with anthems from the very speeches they support, then the meaning conveyed by these signs gets just a little diluted, doesn't it? I know it's all theatre, and I know it's TV pictures that the producers are going for. But if it's all so hollow, I'm less likely to care, and I would guess that other people feel the same way.

But that's neither here nor there. It's to be expected, and I can accept it, albeit grudgingly. No, what I really want to know is: where the hell do they keep all those things? They seem to come out of nowhere, and some of them are quite ungainly. Are there lackeys running around handing them out? If so, how do the TV cameras avoid showing them? Or are the signs all stashed below each seat? If so, where do people put their legs? Maybe Democrat scientists have perfected the replicator made famous by Jean-Luc and company on Star Trek: "Computer. Poster. John Edwards. Red and white." And then, beep-bloop, and everyone has the same sign. Or maybe that's not what happens at all. It's a mystery, and you can just rock me to sleep tonight, thank you very much.